
                            PeNiS And TFJC
                            Proudly Present
                           *****************
                        How to Pass the Feared,
                       the Undesirable, the Drug
                                 Test!

  Scene one. -----
    
  Johnny just got 50 bux from his dad for doing housework. So like the
average 15 year old he calls up his dope man and begs for a good deal.
After going through the horror of finding out what time mom and pop are
leaving for their normal Saturday night drunken kereoke singing, Johnny
plans the drop off for an hour later, and calls quite a few of his friends.
  Ring Ring
  "Hello?" says a voice on the phone..
  "Wasssup Duuuuuuuuuuude" Johnny Said to his best friend Rob.
  "Nothing Much", Rob Replies
  "Dude! Guess What?" Said Johnny
  "What?" Rob replies eagerly
  "I'm gettin an Ozer!! Fucking  CRUISE MAN! CRUISE!" Johnny yelled and
   hung the phone up...

  A few hours pass... parental figures bail... dope man arrives...

 "Holy shit duuuuude you got that for 50 Bux!" said Rob in awe...
 "Yeah dude lets take some fuckin' rips duuuuuude" Said an
  impatient Johnny..
  

   Hours of herbal consumption take place... And who decides to come
home early... but good old mom and dad...

  "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL SON" exlaimed Johnny's Father.
  "Some hippie chick ahh ahhhh like spilled some oils or something" replies
a scared shitless Johnny!
  "SURE SON!!! WE'LL SEE AFTER WE GO DOWN TO THE DOCTORS OFFICE AND YOU
PEE IN A FUCKING CUP! <SLAP>" bellowed his father...

  Scene two.  -----

  "Sure Mr. Mallic you're hired... All you need to do his head down to the 
Clinic and have them give you a physical and a drug test" 

  Echoed on and on in his head... What the fuck am I going to do now..
I got the damn job so I could buy more weed.. but fuck it..
DAMN fuckin' tests....

_____PeNiS_____
  
  Either of these sound fucking familiar? Ever have to face the fear of 
"THE CUP" Or even worse the BLOOD! Or the one you can't hide.. THE HAIR!
Odds are if your a loadie.... You have... But, did you know that almost
every test can be either confused, changed, or you can clean yourself, in
many different ways and, each and every drug has quick ways of hiding 
their existence, and/or wiping them completely out... Sure, every stoner,
tweeker, coke head, in existence has heard stories or wives tales.. But,
if ya need to pass! If you wanna pass... come... Light a spliff and let's
talk..

  HOW TO USE THIS:

  Ok, this is simple.. I'll name a drug.. It's category explain what it does,
and shit.... Then give you a quick cleaning (Known as a "Hide"),
and other temp or permanent solutions... get it? Good 'cause I most likely 
don't! One more thing... These will work if you do them right. Do yourself a 
favor tho... If you have tracks or suck the glass dick! Just shoot yourself!

  TESTS:

  There are two common drug detection tests, of which samples of your life
fluids are used, urine, and blood. And a third, Which is in your hair...

  Urine Tests : Are basic and inexpensive.. So they are the most common
of all.. Now, due to your kidneys, bladder, and body functions traces of
just about everything you consume or use, can be found stored in the tissue
(both muscles and fat cells) in the urinal tract... therefore, every tester
likes to use this due to its cheap cost and quick results...

  Blood Tests : These cover a wider range of knowledge, and your red and white
blood cells.. DEAD GIVEAWAY! 'CAUSE you are altering your system. And it
makes it harder to clear but we can do it!

  Hair Samples : You either have rich parents or are runnin' for presidency
cause this shit shows your history second for second toke for toke!

Alrighty Time to start....

Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) aka. Marijuana, pot, buds, reefer, ganja, weed, 
grass and all that bullshit..

  Well hell... ok when you're loaded you either turn lethargic, or you can 
  hang so enough said....  to
