
                            PeNiS And TFJC
                            Proudly Present
                           *****************
                       How to Enter "Contraband" Into
                  State, Federal, Or County Correctional
                               Facilities.

  Ok so you're a dipshit and got nailed... and now you know you're going to 
jail. You also know you're going to need certain items that aren't available 
in jail, nor allowed... So if ya don't got balls or you're just too dumb to 
figure out how the hell you're going to get them in there! I guess you're 
fucked! But, if ya do like a fellow LaW Member "Mr. Nash" does... You can get 
anything you want in..

  First off "contraband" in jail is just about everything you NEED in jail.
For example: smokes, drugs, hair ties, weapons, etc. Like I said, everything
you NEED!

  Materials needed:
1) Item or material, or substances you are going to bring with you..
2) As many water balloons or small baggies (Stamp Or "Dove") or any other
   sealable material of your choice..
3) K-Y, Vaseline, etc.. for lubrications

  What to Do:
1) Insert contraband into sealable material
2) Tie or seal bag.
3) Lubricate bag.
4) Insert bag into your asshole or any other tight small orifice
   of your body

 Suggested Stash Spots:
1) Sure the obvious.. your anal cave
2) Packed into ears.. (Remember that this is a hard place to remove from)
3) Swallow and Shit!

 Breakin' out the goods:
1) Anal... Well you stuffed it... You can grab it...
2) Ears... Get a hold of some type of tweezers or something!
   You're going to need them...
3) If swallowed, examine your feces... extract..

  Well there you go.... This has worked for many friends of mine..
I have never been locked up.. So I have never tested these ideas..
But I do must say "PeNiS" and it's worth the risk... So don't be 
a mother fucking Pussy! And try something unusual!! haha..

                    - Satan"Obituary"Slayer
                      PeNiS.LaW.The Fat Joint Corp.
